Disclaimer : All the characters involved in this narration are true to the core and the incidents related to them follows the same suit as well, though they might sound a bit exaggerated. I know that I would recieve some serious flak but tell me seriously which author in the world doesn't get some. I have tried to describe some of the characters with some humour added to it so as to bring some smiles while reading the same. And sincerely hope that it doesn't offend anybody.
I would like to convey this message ecspecially to all the ex and current wardelites " Please be sportive in discovering yourself through the writings of a part time wardelite, and be generous enough to comment about this poor soul whose only intention is to make people smile and not hurt anybody. If I have in anyways done that, please forgive me or write a comment or two swearing me to quench your fiery angst against me"
What can I say about this place? I have very fond memories of this place and would like to recollect some of those moments along with the funny characters " the so called kind hearted demons" who are the integral part of my fond memories. Let me start of by introducing the kind hearted demons who had the privilege to stay in
No-3 wardle Place
Oldbrook
Milton Keynes
United Kingdom
Prabhakar Shetty -
" The tireless Lover "
He is one of those intelligent, helpful, kindhearted and a charming person (to an extent that even some oldies would fall for him). If the young wardelites were jealous of him the older one's would curse at their misfortune and the rate in which they grew up to become old. I have tried to pen a poem which probably portrays the thoughts of Prabhakar as a "tireless lover".
" It’s difficult to live without love in your life ,
Whether its from your girlfriend or your wife.
You need to experience it, to understand it’s might !!
Though you never know when it would smite.
There’s love everywhere
It’s just that we are unaware.
To test its existence
Wait for the inevitable
with some patience and perseverance
Believe me it’s possible.
Trust on the fact that There’s love everywhere
It’s just that we are unaware.
People fly over continents and oceans
To meet their love, and to get swayed by emotions
Now boys & Girls, men and women never feel sad
If u lose your love, because its what you had
So as the saying goes - There’s love everywhere
Its just that we are unaware
Whether its your first crush or the last one
Don’t take a count, as its not something that you lost or won.
Get into this feeling with a blank mind
As you never know what’s there at the end
You need to believe that there’s love everywhere
Its just that we are unaware. "
- From an aspiring poet, novelist, blogger and what not
The above poem is dedicated to Shetty - a great friend of mine whom I would treasure for a lifetime.
Guru Prasad Balachandra -
" Grand Old man of Wardle place "
He was one of the elder wardelites and the thronless king of Wardle place - was mainly into performing the administrative duties of wardle place such as ghar kharcha compiling etc:- . Also one his key interests was to bet on bet365 website, didnt win anything special. Well to be frank u can't expect a big return when u are trying to bet with a pound or two. One interesting fact about Guru is his unique capability to drink beer like a seasoned drunkard drinking his "on the rocks scotch", also his taste for drinking vodka with orange or Leechi juice was unique and worth mentioning. And last but not the least his age seemed to catch with his drinking ability as well, it was difficult for him to last beyond a peg of Vodka.
One more key characteristics of Guru was his hatred towards Mallus, according to him all the mallus in the world were shrewd, cunning, deceptive, and probably u can associate all the negative human traits that this world has seen with mallus. Well his reasons for the same were justified especially after he was cheated by some three mallus - this is all we got from him as he got intoxicated after his "one great peg of Vodka". :-)
Umesh Timoli - " The smiling chef Of Warlde Place "
As the description goes he was one of extraordinary cooks I have ever seen but his cooking style was never meant for people with weak taste buds. Especially the English men would dread him for his spicy style of cooking. He was a smoker to the core and had this ability to make people smoke out of their nostrils, ears and probably everywhere after eating the delicacies offered by him. Its as if he has picked his adversaries and silently relishing his revenge against them with a smile. He was the man of the hour especially when there is need for a party over the weekend. I can still remember our Sr Deployment manager offering him to take an off after lunch on a friday just to cook some great delicacies and prepare the food for that night - such were his cooking skills - and there's always something cooking about him as well, but he used to cover them all with his innocent smile.
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Vimal Mishra - " Mallya's little Friend "
Though the description is a bit satirical and not literal, it is true that he is one of the serious contributors of wealth to the great Indian liquor baron. Vimal aka Tukky was a person who believed in size doesnt matter, especially with his well known drinking capabilities. With Tukky u always need to be prepared for any eventuality while drinking, so we always used to create some space for him especially when he gets on to his nagin and Osho's trance after drinking. Not many can be proud owners of such a flexible body tied together by group of bones !! ( from distance he always looked like the Walt Disney Pluto's bone to me). I still remember the first day when he entered wardle place, and Guru along with me were in the mood to test him out, to be frank he outranked us with his wit and drinking skills. He was very eager to make a mark in cricketing world and made some tall claims even to the extent of being a fearsome fast bowler. Prabhakar and me took that statement with a pinch of salt. Eventually we realised that he was a unique fast bowler who can regularly flight the ball. Well whether he is a great bowler or not but he was and would always be the Tendulkar of the drinking world.
Harish Karkera - "The Deal Wizard "
Probably the only one in this world who can credit a success rate of more than 90% in their search for cheaper deals. His motto was always "cheap and best in everything, but at times best can be compromised for dead cheap" . A unique character with an unparalleled ability of googling to find cheaper deals.. Ebay was the secondary source for his daily bread. He also holds the distinction of buying a car through online source, not many indians would dare to do that. Though luck favoured him for the most part of his online deals, the one with the car was a let off. Such was the state of the car that probably the founders of Rover(John Kemp and William Sutton) would have raised questions about the quality of the car. Though I was not part of the incident but it is a well known story in Wardle place about his Rover which didn't show its magic when the great wardelites wanted to place a visit to Alton Towers. That's when people got to know the truth abt Karkera's Rover.
Ajith Singh Patil -
"Patil the Politician"
Born Politician would be the best fit description for him. It's very hard to find a person who is equally good in mediating a solution, fuelling a fight and escaping when things go wrong but he was the person with all these three qualities carefully programmed in him. only to be executed appropriately whenever and wherever the situation demands to do so. To catch him red handed in action is very difficult as he has got some strong convincing ability/skill which can be used to even convince a dog that its tail can be straightened. If he can do that to a dog, then our poor soul Shetty doesnt have a chance before his skills. Ajit actually convinced Prabhakar Shetty to go for an insurance package (which cost shettly half the amount as that of the camera) along with the camera. He relishes the experience and improves his understanding of new things, process etc: at the expense of others. The last I heard about him was that he aspired to contest state elections from Pandharpur, I sincerely hope he hasn't become a politician yet or if he has then hopefully he doesnt try his skills with the people of Pandharpur :-) . During his course of stay in Wardle place he has earned some distinct and honourable titles some worth mentioning and some not such as " Patil the Player", "The fueller", "Crook who never cooks", " Next Gen Narad" etc;.
Jobit George -
"Hairless & Crownless King George of Wardle Place"
God's creation of men is a good case study for the topic "Dnt put all your eggs in one basket". Its something which you would find in every man and woman ecspecially when it comes to their varying degree of Physical strength and weakness. In Jobit's case if his strong athletic body frame was his strength then his hairless head was his biggest downfall. He was an athlete in his younger days and it was only clear to us when we had a peek at his carefully preserved photo, which indicated that he had a black blooming hair once upon a time. Unfortunately he can't use that as his profile pic in either facebook or orkut as he looks way too younger firstly because he has grown up and secondly in the process he lost almost all of his hair.There are two small patches of hair in his head similar to a couple of water patches in the big Sahara Desert.
Arun Swaminathan -
" Born with acess to youtube "
Well u would have already guessed his relationship with youtube is a romantic saga in itself. He hold the unique distinction of learning how to play badminton and driving in UK through youtube. It's as if youtube and Arun were meant to be together as long as they last. He is part of the current gen living in wardle place and possibly will see through till it's end. The last I heard about him was his new career option to join a company as Telecom billing director - quite interesting !! jobit would have pulled off his last remaining hairs after hearing this. Arun was also a smoker like most of the ex- wardelites upholding one of the key traditional values/rituals of Wardle place which was founded by Umesh & Prabhakar supported by Sabarish to some extent and then continued by Arun. Whether the smoke originated from the chimney or not but strong presence of cigarrete smoke was always there( there would be atleast one wardelite puffing cigarretes throughout the day). If youtube was Arun's first love then smoking was his second. He had a unique ability to listen to hard metal while programming batch scripts in Unix( something to do with BT bill generation program), and we all hoped that the poor customers won't bear the brunt of it and start behaving like the hard metal rock bands - a mouthful of swearing headed towards the billing operations team.
Kapil Johri - “Stealthy executioner“
“A very rare breed hard to witness in common” – Person filled with tons of humour and a practical perspective of life. If there is an adverse situation where he can’t get out of it then it means it’s just impossible for others. His well known capabilities of getting things done is the essence of his practical perspective – Otherwise more commonly known as the “Jugaadu” in our circle, it’s as if this man has 2 parallel minds running at the rate of intel core duo processors analysing the situation and coming up with possible solutions and executing them with probably four pair of hands. Though this side of Kapil is something which probably most would like to have but then there is his other side where you are better off in avoiding the same - Yes u probably guessed it right!! It’s the “Patil syndrome” – It’s very rare to see couple of people with similar traits only to differ with respect to their method of execution. If Patil is a shrewd politician then Kapil is a practical one. Getting things done stealthily is a virtue that he is born with, whether it’s about taking a single in the game of cricket or getting a salary hike (on rare occasions, kidding !!). I always felt that many including me tend to under estimate him only to realise his stealth potential with a bolt of jolt and shock. All said and done a great friend in need with solutions to almost every problem you might have, also a friend which many would crave to have.
Hargeet B – “The bold and the confused “
If people revered her for being bold, she seemed to be battling with an adversary within her mind called "confusion". Though I tend to associate confusion as an hallmark characteristic of any woman, however in her case it was more than normal. However the good part is that her confusion almost evertime leads her into a situation where she seeks good guidance from her friends, so in that regard she was lucky to have some good circle of friends. She was also an epitome/mixed bag of emotions, which you can make out by looking at her face though she doesn’t want everyone to make it out through her facial expressions. All said and done she carried herself with a good amount of boldness which is what marks her as a unique soul among others. The first impression you would get about her is – “A staunch feminist” at least as per the outside world, but her close circle of friends would differ with that and would associate that trait of her’s with her boldness to stand for something which she believes.
Back to her weakness - Such was the extent of her confused mind that she mistakenly took the gloves of a poor old gentleman sitting right opposite to her in the train, while returning from London to Milton Keynes and claimed it to be her- Poor old Englishman he was! If she had stuck to her belief for few more minutes he would have probably let her go with his gloves admitting he was mistaken. And thats when she earned the title “Sardarni whom the English fear!!”
